Body image and perception

“I hate my arms.” 

“My legs are huge.” 

“My hips stick out too much.” 

“I wish my waist was smaller.” 

…sound familiar?  

Body image has become a hot topic lately, regularly featuring in the media and the source of much debate in the press. It’s certainly getting us all talking more than ever before. 

Last week, I attended an online training session on body perception and it really got me thinking about this subject and my tricky relationship with it.

So what actually is body image? How is it defined?  

Well in its most basic form, it’s how we think and feel about our bodies.  

I imagine many of you will agree it can be really hard to get an accurate, balanced view of how we truly look because we bring our own fears and insecurities to our internal image of ourselves.  

I know I’m a serial offender when it comes to looking at myself in the mirror and honing in on everything I don’t like. Those thighs that I think are too large or curves I wish were bigger or smaller in certain places. I can drive myself crazy with it all! 

The media is often held responsible for the nation’s obsession with how we look and our comparisons with others around us.  

We’re all spending more time than ever consuming media and it feels like everywhere we turn there are messages telling us how we should look.  

Whether it’s filtered-to-perfection celebs on Instagram, slim models on clothing websites or even our family and friends looking amazing in their beach pics – it feels like we can’t escape these waves of jealousy that wash over us every single day.  

Positive vs Negative 

Most people will have a positive or negative body image depending on how they view themselves.   

A negative body image involves a distorted and dissatisfied perception of your shape and feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-consciousness. An all too common place for eating disorders to develop.  

Meanwhile positive body image is a clear, true perception of your appearance and feeling comfortable and confident in your body whilst accepting its natural body shape and size. A truly blissful feeling!  

So how can we strive for true body confidence and distance ourselves from our insecurities?  

Here are a few helpful tips you can use to improve your body image  

  • Be grateful for all that your body is, not what it isn’t – just think of all the amazing things it can do; our hearts that keep blood pumping, our skin heals itself, our lungs keep us breathing, the wonder of the five senses and the ability to move, speak and think. It’s far more than just the aesthetics!  
  • Remember everybody is different – our unique genetic make-up affects our height, bone structure, shape and size so you could spend your life striving to look like someone else and it’ll never be possible. That doesn’t mean we can’t be the best version of ourselves but we certainly ought to stop trying to be someone else.  
  • Choose your media carefully – as I already mentioned, we live in media saturated world so we really must choose who to follow, and what to look at very cautiously.  Why not spend some time considering whether you’re subjecting yourself to the right channels online.  
  • Surround yourself with positive affirmations – one of the best things I ever did was write a few things I like about myself and my character and ask a select few friends and family to do the same. I recorded them all in a notebook and stored them on my phone so I can keep reminding myself of all the good in my life. I’m going to start sticking some around my mirror too so I can see them every day.  
  • Treat yourself and your body – who doesn’t feel better for spending some time pampering themselves once in a while? Whether it’s getting your hair done, having a manicure or buying yourself some new clothes, it’s the small steps we can all take to feel good about ourselves and how we look.    
  • Watch affirming videos – the internet may fuel our insecurities at times but you can also find some great, thought provoking material on there too if you look in the right places. I found a couple of really interesting videos about body image that I wanted to share… 

Video one – this one just shows how much we tear ourselves to shreds and fail to realise the positives. It’s a tough watch at the beginning as two complete strangers share their innermost insecurities, but bear with it – it gets so lovely at the end.  

Video two – this is the best Ted talk I have ever seen on the body image topic and I can relate so much to what the speaker, Mary Jelkovsky is saying and the experiences she has had. It really changed the way I think.

Interesting and thought-provoking tips that I hope will help you think differently and realise just how truly beautiful you are!  

G x

The limbo of quasi recovery

Have you ever heard the phrase: “I’m not where I need to be, but at least I’m not where I was.”?

That’s the current definition of my life in recovery from an eating disorder. And it’s really tough!

Last year my food restriction was the worst it’s ever been, my thoughts were incredibly distorted and my weight was the lowest yet. I was truly in the grips of my battle with anorexia.

I was losing around a kilo every week, too underweight to legally drive, having bi-weekly appointments and calls with the ED team and supported meals with a wonderful eating disorder organisation in my city. It was intense but it was necessary to turn things around and stop me getting into dangerous territory – hospital.

Fast forward a year – and a crazy year at that – I receive less support and am no longer in the danger zone weight wise. My relationship with food is better, I can manage three meals on certain days, I exercise less obsessively and don’t feel as tired and weak. On paper I’m doing much better.

But that only tells half of the story. The rest isn’t so rosy.

One of the most difficult things about trying to beat an eating disorder is quasi recovery – a limbo-like state where you aren’t relapsing into your illness but you aren’t experiencing the benefits of true recovery either.

My weight may be higher, but my thoughts are still plagued with food and exercise routines, awful body image and the daily longing to be back in the driving seat – restricting my intake and feeling less heavy!

It’s pretty exhausting and can make me feel very hopeless. Like having an angel and a devil on each shoulder.

Each time I feel motivated enough to improve, it’s accompanied by an awful sense of guilt for defying the disordered voice in my head and desperately unhappy about my increasing size. I then revert to compensating by reinstating some of my old rules and curse myself for thinking I could ditch them.

It’s like the physical progress is not matching the mental progress leading me to feel that my weight is spiralling out of control and my head isn’t catching up. I’m still over a stone away from my healthy weight but I worry I’ll reside in a weight-restored body yet keep my disordered mind which frightens me.

I know it’s common and I have been told by both professionals and fellow ED sufferers that the discomfort of progress can be drawn-out and unpleasant. I have been supported to find coping strategies and distractions which, whilst helpful, don’t always mask the torment.

The solution?

I guess I have to keep going in order to get to a point where the daily stresses around food loosen their tight grip on me and I find a way to make peace with my body again.

I tell myself:

It’s like pulling a plaster off – peel it back slowly and you drag out the pain, but rip it off and whilst it hurts more at least it’s over quicker.

I’ll keep going, because I didn’t come this far to only come this far, but it’s a huge challenge and I have great sympathy for others who are in the same boat.

We’re all in this together x

Body image and baggy jeans

I used to hate baggy clothes.

When I was younger, if something wasn’t skin tight I had no time for it. I guess I thought loose fitting stuff somehow made me look larger.

Nowadays it’s my saviour! Especially having spent the majority of 2020 in hoodies and joggers.

The thought of returning to my skinny jeans fils me with dread and more insecurity than I can handle. I’m struggling to accept my shape at the moment so really don’t want any one to see it through my clothes. I need garments to hide in.

Enter the humble ‘mom’ jean (or ‘boyfriend’/‘girlfriend’ depending on which shop you’re in).

I love them!

I’ve wanted some for ages and finally plucked up the courage to enter a shop and buy some this week.

I haven’t felt confident enough to purchase any new clothes since lockdown started. My body image is at its lowest and I’m worrying about clothing sizes and how I look in different garments and fits.

These jeans have combatted a great deal of that.

They’re perfect for my needs and luckily fashionable enough to get away with. They’re so comfy and loose and I don’t feel remotely revealing while wearing them.

Thank the denim heavens!

G x

#WorldMentalHealthDay

Elvis Presley had the right idea when he sang: ‘A little less conversation, a little more action please.’

I doubt he had World Mental Health Day in mind when he penned the lyric but nevertheless it’s very appropriate.

I’m in huge support of anything that raises awareness of mental health problems and it’s great that days like this get people talking and sharing experiences.

But do these conversations ever get us anywhere? Do we make a difference on days like today? Do services improve so that people get better treatment? Do waiting lists shrink in length? Are we healing the many sufferers of these cruel, relentless conditions?

It’s true we have to speak out before anything will change, but with mental health problems on a steep upward trajectory we need to see improvements in care now more than ever.

It breaks my heart that people are left to decline on long waiting lists and some haven’t heard from their care providers in months.

You wouldn’t leave someone on the ground with a broken leg, but too many with mental health issues feel abandoned for too long.

It’s just not right 😔

So whilst I love seeing solidarity at times like this, what would be even more incredible is if we could see some change. I pray we can use our collective experiences this year to boost services more than ever before.

We’ve got to keep going! 🙏🏼

G x

Five lessons I’ve learned from therapy

I’m very open about my positive experiences with therapy for my eating disorder.

Some people turn their noses up at the notion of telling your innermost secrets to a stranger, but I feel it has benefitted me massively.

The biggest challenge is finding the right person for you, someone who can listen, empathise, challenge you and ultimately gain your trust.

It may have taken me a few years and various attempts with different therapists, but I feel I have met my match and it’s amazing to experience the difference it makes.

To truly release your inhibitions and reveal your biggest fears is the first step to altering your mindset and that’s where I currently sit.

This week, I wrote a blog for The Recovery Club about the top five lessons I have learned from therapy so far.

I would love for you to take a look and see what you think.

Read the blog here.

G x